Quidditch: It's a trav-sham-ockery!

Ok, so I don't know if you're all sick and tired of me ranting about the trav-sham-ockery that is Quidditch, but here it comes again! Ok, so upon further discussion of the whole ridiculous "sport" portrayed in the Harry Potter series, I have developed a near-perfect equivalent scenario for the modern-day muggle. Here it goes:

Picture yourself on a soccer team. A really really really good soccer team. You are an amazing player... one of the best... but rather than one goal, you've got three randomly-placed circular goals you could possibly shoot for, each worth ten points. That keeper (a.k.a. "Goalie" for all the unknowledgable Americans, but still "Keeper" in Harry Potter language) on the other team sure does have his work cut out for him. Not to mention the psychos with ping-pong paddles (a.k.a. "Beater's Bats") trying their hardest to attack you from all sides with their Ping-pong balls of Doom (a.k.a. "Bludgers") while at the same time attempting to protect their teammates from said punishment from the opposing team!! So anyways, you're playing your heart out, you're stealing the ball (a.k.a. Quaffle), you're shooting for the goals, you're doin' some damage... but really NONE OF IT MATTERS! Oh no, this is NOT your game... this is the game for THE SEEKER (a.k.a. Harry Potter)!!!! The seeker is the one who wins the glory, not you. Duh. The seeker has one job to do, and when it is done, that seeker (and consequently that team) is granted one hundred and fifty freakin' points, and the game is over! But what is this daunting task the that the "seeker" must complete for the grand finale of the game? What is this amazing feat of talent that is completed for the sake of ETERNal GLoRY? He simply must catch a super bouncy ball (a.k.a. The Golden Snitch) that is bouncing amok around the soccer field (within the limitations of the field, mind you). In total, you have an entire team of highly trained "athletes" all running around supposedly trying to accomplish something by making goals. But it all is a sham, because the moment that SuperBall is caught by that madman running around in little girl's pajamas the game is over, and Really... Really... unless the other team was up by more than one hundred and fifty points, the catching of the superball determines the winner. Think about it. The whole concept of quiddtich is a complete mockery of any real sport out there, expept perhaps caber-tossing... but Don't even GEt me STarteD!

In conclusion, I thought I'd share with you all an excerpt from Rolling Stone magazine that features an interview with Daniel Radcliffe (a.k.a. Harry Potter):

Interviewer: Do you find Quidditch as boring as I do?
Daniel: Oh, it's not fun to film, man. It's not fun. I actually read an interview with J.K. Rowling, and she was saying, "I find Quidditch really tedious to write," and we were all, "We find it really tedious to film! Stop writing it!"

AMEN.