The Cookie Chronicle

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Dedicated to Adam's Pure Genius

I'm not sure how many of you had the opportunity to check out Adam's latest blog, but I think he has the right idea with how things should be run around here. That is why I am here right now taking a page out of his book. Though I do feel somewhat un-original, I am asking the same favor from my fellow readers to create a similar display of your literary talents by creating a poem, haiku, short story, long story, novel, or couplet involving any and/or all of the following words and/or phrases:
  • "I hate him, I hate him, I hate him!"
  • Chicken fingers
  • "Stop eating that bowl, you Food Nazi!"
  • Oust it Up!
  • "I pity de fool who's been naughty dis yea'!" -Mr. C.
  • CAUTION: FLAMMABLE
  • A hoo a hoo!
  • Turn the heat down!
  • "Thanks, but I'm just not feelin' it."
  • "If you're a bird, I'm a bird."
  • Express Stop Photo
  • and... "Wink at you, child? Why would I wink at you? What a notion!"

Once again, I thank you very much for your time and courtesy in responding so quickly to my abstract wishes! Cheerio!

posted by Brookie at 8:24 PM

8 Comments:

  • Ok here it comes--a truly blogalicious comment thing about:

    "I hate him, I hate him, I hate him!"
    Chicken fingers
    "Stop eating that bowl, you Food Nazi!"
    Oust it Up!
    "I pity de fool who's been naughty dis yea'!" -Mr. C.
    CAUTION: FLAMMABLE
    A hoo a hoo!
    Turn the heat down!
    "Thanks, but I'm just not feelin' it."
    "If you're a bird, I'm a bird."
    Express Stop Photo
    and... "Wink at you, child? Why would I wink at you? What a notion!"

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 9:48 PM  

  • Once upon a time a most unfortunate girl named Jesyka lived in the most unfortunate of circumstances at the Blogwarts Orphanage and School for Most Unfortunate, but Intelligent Children and Brats.
    At this facility, Jesyka was forced to live through the most unfortunate living conditions. Everyday she woke up, got dressed, went down the hall and stood in line where each of the children took there turns ousting it up, as bathing was just not an option. Then she and the others proceeded to the mess hall where they were served frozen chicken fingers on frozen plates in a freezing cafeteria. Why was it so cold you ask? Well, the head of the orphanage, Ms. Brookinator, was terribly afeared of fire so she went around writing "CAUTION: FLAMMABLE" on every item in sight and she walked from room to room saying "Turn the heat down!" because she was so afraid that the heaters would blow up, start a fire and burn down the lovely place that she called home.
    On one such morning, Jesyka had just had enough of this treatment and refused to eat the frozen mass that was the chicken fingers and she snuck into the kitchen where she proceeded to eat all the bowls in the cupboard because she was just sooo hongry. All of a sudden the kitchen doors flung open and Ms Brookinator stood there in all her glory and promptly screamed "Stop eating that bowl, you Food Nazi!" afterwhich Jesyka took one last bite and then dropped the remaining bowl letting it shatter on the stone cold linoleum below. "A hoo a hoo!" Jesyka bawled her eyes out in hopes of drawing some sort of sympathy from the cold mass of authority before her, but it was of no use.
    Being just two days for Christmas, a special visitor had come to the orphanage to wish the children Happy Holidays, to ask what they wished for and to leave them a treat. Bill Gates was such a nice man, but the Brookinator informed Jesyka that she would not have the pleasure of cozying up on Billy's lap this year. "bwahahahaha! I pity de fool who's been naughty dis yea'!" As they passed by a drop of stagnant water from the overhead pipes dropped into jesyka's eye and her eye began to spaz out in a kind of winking manner. Mr. Gates in his throne of dollar bills saw this, and he looked at Jesyka with a terrible look in his eye and commented..."Wink at you, child? Why would I wink at you? What a notion!" Jesyka uttered a bitter rejoinder of "I don't even care mr. big bad brookinator I hate Bill Gates! I hate him, i hate him, I hate him!"
    Well, suffice it to say that Jesyka did not have a very merry christmas that year. As punishment she was forced to work as a no-pay employee at the orphanage's Express Stop Photo. One time she developed some very nice pictures of children dressed as birds and she became exceedingly jealous afterwhich she declared that "If you're a bird, I'm a bird." And from that day on she was Jesyka, the bird orphan.
    And then...She lived happily ever after...You don't believe me? Come on, you know in your heart you wish you were a bird girl orphan who worked at the express stop photo and got to eat frozen chicken fingers. Oh yeeeah!

    ps--sorry so long!

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 10:05 PM  

  • I didn't mean to post that as anonymous...I'll take full credit for the craziness!

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 10:06 PM  

  • Very nice, but you forgot "Thanks, but i'm just not feelin' it." Sorry to be the bearer of bad news.

    By Blogger Rhyno "Yasy" Dyno, at 10:53 PM  

  • Come on all you bloggers out there! Give me a little competition! I know that you could all write something better than this masterpiece...i mean this scratch paper work. VOMINOS! (no! Not Dominos)

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 8:46 AM  

  • Wink at you, child?
    Oh, why would I wink?
    A wink is a link is a
    blink on the brink.
    Better to hate him,
    "I hate him," you say?
    Well, Oust it Up quick, girl
    and throw him away.
    Throw him out quick now,
    and turn the heat down.
    CAUTION: Quite Flammable,
    It's made with goose down.
    A hoo, oh a hooey
    You best be believin'
    I don't want no thanks for what
    you're just not feelin'.
    I pity de foo'
    Who's been naughty?
    It's you.
    I'm a bird. You're a bird
    How absurd.
    Well it's true.
    So put all your fingers
    in a big chicken bowl.
    And tell that Food Nazi
    I've accomplished your goal.



    OK, so I cheated. It's not word for word, but I believe in literary license.

    By Blogger Melissa, at 11:43 AM  

  • Missed Express Stop Photo

    By Blogger Melissa, at 11:45 AM  

  • I would personally like to thank all of the people who fulfilled my requests with your beautiful literary skills!! Jessica, you made me laugh sooooo hard! Melissa, you are truly a poet, and I applaud you for your genius! And Ryan... Ryan, Ryan, Ryan... leave more than a stinkin' comment next time! Y'argh!

    By Blogger Brookie, at 1:27 PM  

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